Sound of Silence
As I settled into the retreat and watched my mind slowly starting to slow down, emotions began to arise. It’s not that I was suppressing all my emotions before but I opened up for more space to feel deeply. The losses I’ve experienced in the last two years starting with my beloved kitty, with my mom’s journey for her passing, plus 5 more dear friends passing within a period of 6 months last year were very present in my heart. In fact, that’s what led Buddha to his search: Old age, sickness and death. I wasn’t afraid of them for myself, or so I thought before. As it turns out, I was more afraid of having to witness and experience the losses of my loved ones, which I became keenly aware to be happening more often as I get older. It was probably 5 days into the retreat that I came to viscerally understand this reality. I went into the forest in the back of the retreat center and cried deeply.